(Mountain View, CA) – Whipped into a patriotic fervor matching his self-aggrandizing manner, Micah Laaker today launched a new campaign with a single intent: To a) inform the public of his contributions to humanity, and b) alert folks of the second “A” in “Laaker.”
“Today’s media-savvy consumer is very much aware of who and what is behind each of the products he or she is consuming… except when said ‘who’ is me,” said Laaker to a crowd gathering near his campaign headquarters. “By adopting this rhyming and rhythmic mantra, we can ensure the masses are familiar with what is most important in their busy lives, and that is the local production of knowledge services by a name they can trust… even if they couldn’t spell it correctly before.”
What exactly would be labeled with this new slogan is currently vague. Mr. Laaker mentioned tagging Laaker.com with the phrase, as well as placing stickers “on anything and everything” he encounters. This statement would seemingly contradict the stickers’ message, but Laaker immediately began talking again of “knowledge services” he needed to generate.
A series of stickers and web “badges” are purportedly in production to allow Laaker.com personnel to easily affix the new saying to anything and everything deserving of such a badge of honor.