Mr. Laaker Publicly Denounces New Dr. Dre

(New York) – Adding kindling to the fire of those who would call him an "instigator" (or "hater," in some circles), Micah Laaker yesterday openly critiqued the latest album released by hip-hop icon Dr. Dre.

Having stood through a lackluster performance by the nevertheless incredibly talented musical duo known as the Handsome Boy Modeling School at New York’s Other Music record store, Mr. Laaker was in an obviously ‘not-to-be-tested’ mood when certain events transpired that resulted in said critique. Looking to form a rapport with the audience, Prince Paul, a.k.a. Chest Rockwell (half of the HBMS duo), asked the audience what albums they were listening to recently. An eager gentleman in the front of the audience quickly blurted out, "Willenium!," in reference to the latest of many subpar offerings by Will Smith, formerly a.k.a. The Fresh Prince.

Obviously intrigued by such an outcry, Paul inquired as to the quality of the album, only to be reassured by the pop-music-machine drone that the album was "hot." Hoping the audience would react positively to a hip-hop suggestion, Paul then asked if anyone had purchased the new Dr. Dre "The Chronic 2001" album. Again, the excitable youth in the front announced that his friend had indeed purchased the album and also enjoyed it thoroughly.

It was at this point that Mr. Laaker very maturely countered this opinion by loudly stating, "It sucks." Whereas Dan "The Automator" Nakamura, a.k.a. Nathaniel Merriweather (the other half of the HBMS duo), looked startled, Paul chuckled at the remark and began to ask who had made such a bold remark. Mr. Laaker, known for his shameless lack of embarrassment, proudly raised his hand declaring that he indeed had made the comment.

The event quietly defused as Mr. Laaker and Mr. Paul came to agreement over the quality inherent in Mos Def’s latest aural offering, "Black on Both Sides." Mr. Laaker and his party left soon afterwards, and Mr. Laaker was heard to conject that Paul’s lack of a contradictory argument equaled agreement with Mr. Laaker’s comment.

Mr. Laaker’s party seemed largely uninterested in his civic-driven public awareness campaign for the musically confused.

(Ed. – Mr. Laaker has the Handsome Boy Modeling School album, "So, How’s Your Girl?," listed as a Top Ten pick for the year.)


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