Local Woman Loudly Announces That She’s “Not Having That”
(New York) - In what proved to be yet another amusing detail of Micah Laaker’s life experience, a very large woman approached Mr. Laaker and his "chaps" at the local Black Star lounge, only to bellow that "everything’s all topsy-turvy here!" Noting that a gentleman had beat her to the ladies’ room, and another lady ran for the men’s room, she said, "It’s like the men’s room is the ladies’ room, and ladies’ room is the men’s room!" Seeing the astuteness of such a reality, Mr. Laaker and his entourage nodded their heads and began looking around the room, hoping to avoid further conversation on such topics.
Hope proved fruitless this evening, however, as the woman then began to move closer and elaborate upon her day’s many dilemnas. Sporting a long black trenchcoat, quickly identified (thanks to today’s media) as the Signature Series’ apparel of shotgun-toting lunatics, she incoherently started relaying the sad mishappenance that occured at the church not two blocks north of their current location. Apparently, a "racist" had discriminated against her "by not letting blonde people use their restroom!" "Well, I’m not having that!" she blurted. Why she had been at the local church trying to use their restroom so late in the evening was never discovered, though she did alert the group that she wasn’t trying to use the men’s room there at the Black Star.
Seeing the ladies’ restroom vacate minutes earlier, Mr. Laaker and his chums tried valiantly to alert this bladder-burdened passerby to her newly possible release. Several long minutes passed, unfortunately, before the fellows were able to clearly communicate such possibilities, and the woman waited a while before stumbling her way into the room. Upon her reemerging, the men all found interesting corners of the room to admire and gaze longingly at, only to be mumbled at during her graceful stroll back to the front of the bar.
And thus the evening’s merriment began.


